Friday, July 17, 2015

High School Fears and Adult Happy Thoughts

Well, we are on the road to my 20 year high school reunion. Holy crap I'm old!!! Lol!! I have always been Patty Simcox (please see list of characters for Grease if I lost you there). I love to be in the thick of it! I don't want to miss a thing or let a moment of life go wasted. (On occasion this has led to gross over-scheduling on my part. Oops!) I try to be the forever figurative cheerleader for involvement and putting yourself out there. 
But to be honest I wasn't sure about this one. At our last reunion I was in amazing shape, I felt great, and frankly I think I looked pretty freakin good! 

Not. Now. 

Being big has never been an issue for me as long as I felt good and my health was good! No, seriously! I know no one believes that, but it's true! When you're bigger your whole life eventually you just deal with it. It doesn't mean you need to be a slob! Work out, eat right, do your best, and eventually the self esteem comes. Took me AGES to figure that out!! But stuff happens. You see, I married a great guy and got comfy and we put on a few pounds as a couple, but when Mark got Leukemia I let my health and well being go. Utterly and totally. Grabbing meals on the go and eating hospital food became the norm. There was never time for working out or at least I failed to make time. I don't feel good about how I look right now. So I thought...maybe I should skip this.  I can just visit the people I'm not totally mortified to face, right?  

Then it occurred to me that while I may feel a bit like a blue whale, there may be others in my class that feel the same way and what kind of Patty Simcox would I be if I tucked my tail and hid!! I mean I'm really proud of a lot of my classmates and their accomplishments and I'd like to tell them so! Furthermore I'm pretty proud of my accomplishments dang it! I have an amazing family, great kids (the world's cutest two year old is currently passed out in the car next to me), awesome friends, not one but two masters degrees, I have students who call me mom, I've seen some of the world, and I live where I want doing what I want. All in all that's not too shabby. 

So here we go!! I've put away my high school fears and put on my big girl panties (please note this never translates to granny panties- I'm far from there yet!) and I am ready! In fact I'm kind of pumped!! At our ages you either take what you get or piss off frankly. I am who I am and except for my current mirror reflection- below my kick butt hair that is, I love who I am! 

So to you who might be pondering skipping your reunion, forget it! Just do it!! I LOVED my 10th and I have the same delightfully high expectations for this one. You'll find most of that high school putting on heirs crap stayed in high school! Thank you Lord!!! :) Let's do this!!!