So today I've been married six years. It seems like a blink and
forever all at once. It's funny... my Prince Charming wasn't at all
what I dreamed of as a little girl. He was older, already had children,
didn't have a lifelong career, and in general was poor as a church
mouse. But he was funny, and kind, and doting, and worked so hard. You
see I'd dated the perfect boy on paper sometime before I met Mark. All
the boxes checked and I thought that equaled happily ever after, but my
heart just couldn't buy in. It turns out that Prince Charming had to be
someone that could make me laugh all the time, and make me feel like I
was the only girl in the room, and actually listen when I talk. He
wasn't perfect. We've had one and only one REALLY serious fight and it
was before we got married and he will tell you it was his fault (and it
TOTALLY was, but I might have contributed slightly in my own roundabout
way.) That one fight taught us the one most important lesson ever in
relationship land. You have to communicate. That's more than talking
people it's being honest. We communicate pretty well and that's helpful.
And the other end of being honest is listening. Mark listens.
Sometimes he's listening with blue headphones while I'm yelling with a
pink microphone so there are translation issues as those don't compute,
but he listens all the same. And every once in awhile he REALLY
surprises me at the little things he picks up. On Friday, before our
anniversary date he presented me with a pendant. Now here's the deal
people. I'm a teacher so you know what kind of money I make. My husband
is a computer tech and he makes a good living but we live a good life
understanding that things like trips to Tahiti and Europe are out of
reach for us and may always be so because of the careers we've chosen.
(Shoot a trip to Disney World is out of reach. Seriously, how do some of
you go so much??? I priced that out for this summer for our big
birthdays and I was like, "How many thousands did you say????" Great
googly moogly!) But, we LOVE our jobs which is priceless. We are
happy. We see the ocean every year, and for a kid who took exactly two
vacations involving overnights that weren't at family homes her entire
young life, that's a pretty good deal! We pay our bills responsibly.
(Well mostly responsibly. Sorry Dave Ramsey. I love you but I'm going
to the dang beach once a year whether that debt snowball is rolling as
fast as I'd like it to or not!) But I digress. What does all this have
to do with anything? Well you see, for a LOOOOOONG time now I've
dreamed of having real actual pearls. Like legit out of an oyster
pearls. I got addicted to watching those pearl parties on facebook
because I love seeing the pretty colors they find. Pearls are not on
the debt snowball list. Mark has listened. He heard my very selfish
little dream and he listened. He knows how badly I want to pay our debt
off and how hard I'm working to do it. He knows I would never buy some
things for myself. He's also figured out that going way overboard with
like a double strand of pearls would've gotten him killed. So on our
anniversary he handed me a small box and in it was this pendant with one
perfect pearl. Not extravagant or overdone but simple and lovely and
just enough. Not pretentious, not showy, but a little reminder to
really appreciate life and living it. After all, that pearl took that
poor oyster a lot of work and time to make. That pendant is like a
metaphor for us and I wouldn't trade that for anything. Thank you Mark
for listening. I love you and I couldn't have asked for a better Prince
Charming for myself. Not perfect, but perfect for me. So for those of
you still looking find someone who you can talk to and who listens.
That is the recipe for happiness no matter what because you both feel
honored and appreciated. You feel valued and that is what we all truly
want. And so ends this extra sappy blog post. :)
