Monday, April 16, 2018

Confessions

So we all know I love to come back to the old blog when I have more to say than I feel fits in a Facebook post. Lol!

So here we go. The title is confessions. So what am I confessing? Well if you’ve seen me in person the last three months you probably know I’m now a diagnosed diabetic. So why hasn’t it been on Facebook? Well to be honest I’ve been totally embarrassed. How stereotypical...a fat girl diabetic. It didn’t matter that I had gestational diabetes when I was expecting Ellie,  which is totally unrelated to weight and made me 50% more likely to be diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. My family history also got brushed aside in my mind. I knew I hadn’t been taking care of myself and I felt like this was my consequence. Some of you may feel the same. That’s your right. When you’re a larger person you get used to being embarassed by stuff like this so you expect people to think the worst. In fact I thought the worst. I have been furious with myself for letting it happen whether it was out of my control or not.

Because I’ve always been bigger and I have diabetes on both my mother and father’s sides, I’ve avoided sugar like the plague forever. I was super careful...until Mark got better.  Yeah you read that right. When he got BETTER; when the cancer was gone we did what many people do. We celebrated with food! For like two continuous years!! Lol! Three months ago when I was diagnosed I weighed more than I’ve EVER weighed in my entire life. I weighed more than I did at 9 months pregnant. I weighed 19lbs more than I did 13 years ago when I swore I would never weigh that much again. So I felt like diabetes was my punishment for being a moron. In truth it’s probably the best thing to happen to me in a while. Why?? Because crap got real, REAL fast. My amazing friend Lennette who lost like 3/4 of her body weight a few years ago with diet alone once told me, “it became I can eat that and die or not and live”.  I never forgot that but I didn’t take it to heart. Now I do. I am an older mom and I fully plan to be around to annoy Ellie LONG after she’s an adult. So I eat to live.

It’s been slow going but it’s going. In the first 3 months I’ve gone from an A1C of 7.8 to an A1C of 6.6. I’ve lost just over 20lbs and I’ve reduced my blood pressure. It’s not much but it’s a start and I’m proud of it. I was struggling without some sort of reward so I joined the weight watchers app. I LOVE days where I beat the points and I eat so many fruits and veggies because in a quest to beat my daily points those are all zero and free. It really clicked for me and I hope it keeps clicking. And you know what? I still have pizza or a cheeseburger here and there but not all in the same day and I skip the fries or add a salad. I’m amazed by how much better I feel. And with the exception of this last week of stomach flu, Ellie and I do Fitness Marshall at least three times a week or more because we can do it TOGETHER. I love that! And her habits are becoming healthier as well.  Mark is also really thinking about what we eat (because he shops and cooks) and that is making a difference for all of us as well.

So there it is. My name is Jamie Wright and I am LIVING with diabetes! Here’s to staying on top of it and maybe one day even throwing out the meds. I have missed active, healthier me. It’s nice to see her trying to make a comeback. Feel free to join me on this journey! I’m happy to be your cheerleader if you’ll be mine.

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