Tuesday, August 13, 2013

A Conundrum

Long Time No See!!!

I know... I'm a week behind!  But we are back at work and I haven't had two seconds in a row that I haven't hogged for Ellie.  Speaking of which, she's about konked out so I'm going to keep this short.  I have night time cuddles to nab.

As school has started I'm eating very well as I don't have time to eat crap.  In fact I don't have time for anything.  There in lies the conundrum. What do I give up?

Clearly Ellie is NOT an option.  My mom guilt is killing me slowly and painfully.  If we don't work there's no house, no cars, no food, and no insurance (what little good it does me...grrrr).  I realize that's just stuff but it's REALLY important stuff.  It's the we'd prefer not to raise our daughter in a cardboard box under the interstate kinda stuff.  But not seeing her for 8-10 hours a day is TORTURE!  As soon as I leave school all I want is to have Ellie and not put her down.  Poor thing is never going to learn to crawl if I don't get myself under control.  But there's so much going on.  So find me a solution to this one:

We've started the Knights Athletic Club and I'm so excited about it but I haven't been able to go yet.  Monday Ellie had a check up and today I had SGA and a Physical Therapy appointment.  Tomorrow I can stay but then I wouldn't leave school until 4, we wouldn't get home from me picking her up until 5, and we'd have to leave so I could drop her off at 5:30 at Bridget's so I can go to our finance class.  We won't get done until about 8 and then she'll be asleep.  Thursday I have faculty meeting and then physical therapy so I won't get Ellie until at least 5pm.  I feel like I'm losing all of my time with her.  I don't want to work out tomorrow!!! I want to take the only day I can leave on time this week, race to daycare, and get her as fast as possible so I get a few hours of actual play time before she's sound asleep. So where's the balance?  What do I do???

Sure, once school gets going things will even out a little... I hope.  But I have 5.5 weeks to get ready for homecoming.  So it's still going to be busy for awhile.  And this week we are supposed to do the meet and greet at church with people interested in small groups.  We are to begin leading one in just a couple of weeks so that's ANOTHER night with no Ellie if we start it.  Not to mention that I'll have to get her, get home, get her to a sitter, get the house prepared each week, and get dinner set out because of poor Mark has at least another 12 weeks of football practice.

So do I go with my gut and put off the everyday workouts a little longer until things even out and go get my girl or do I stay and exercise?  Do we go ahead and do the small group because it helps our church and provides us a community at church or do we stay just us a bit longer?  For me it's Ellie and Mark EVERY SINGLE time.  I DO NOT want to stay late and work out tomorrow.  I do not want to give up anymore nights with my family.  But how will I ever get in better shape physically or spiritually?   So there you go folks.  This week's conundrum.  Aaaaaand... go.